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*from Withnail and I (1987)*

I'm currently thinking about some stuff from my past again. Like my former close friend, Owen, literally calling me a "master manifestor" and jokingly telling me to lock in and manifest a bag of money on the side of the road when we had first came up to the UK back in 2024 together for university with Amanda and Jade. Sigh. I'll never not be glad that I stopped hanging around those people. Anywho, I was on Pinterest earlier seeing images that reminded me of Michael, one of my guides, who had warned me about Owen specifically with a "sign" right outside our university on a wall. I've already spoken about it in one of my previous blogs, but right now I'm just thinking about the fact that by the time I had seen that blatant sign/warning I'd already long knew that Owen was shite…

*Screenshots showing my YouTube history (from Yesterday)*

I watched 7 tarot/oracle videos on YouTube yesterday. Of course, they were either on my home page or in my recommended/suggested videos. TrueFaithShinesInDarkness444's video was just dropping bomb after bomb on me. They tend to always start off those kinds of videos with something about "taking what resonates and leaving what doesn't" but they never tell you what to do when too much is resonating all at once. I'll just list all the things she was saying in order as I heard it and explain briefly why it resonated with me. "Angels of Death are definitely significant." I've searched up angels of death a lot, especially Samael. And you already know by now that the Grim Reaper is based off of Maria herself. "Messages from angels." I know that some people call their guides angels. Besides, even demons and aliens are ultimately just…

Picking up from where we left off with my human (fake) family members "checking" up on me. My younger sister (Gabrielle) and her older twin brother (Gabriel) were still attempting to reach out to me today. It's only been one day of me simply choosing to not respond to my sister's initial text about me letting her know if I'm still breathing and subsequent message about how she "hasn't heard from me in a long time." Even though we aren't even close like that for real and she's gone for far longer without replying to my messages. And yet, I wasn't all of a sudden "worried" about her safety or anything. Also, just like I was saying, my brother is making way more sense than my sister is right now. No clue what she's "nervous" about to be honest, but my guides have pretty much told me to keep quiet…

I was watching YouTube videos from Love Exists Collective like crazy today. Not too many to be honest. Plus, they were showing up on my home page when I opened the app and on my recommended/suggested videos. I saw my calling card (Knight of Swords) in some of them. I was even trippin out for a bit because I finally sat down and thought about the fact that her name is Alice. Like, are you serious? Are we for real? I mean, I already knew this before I started writing these blogs but I didn't stop and actually think about it until now. But yeah, Alice was talking about "people from the past" this, how I'm going to "meet new people" that, and even spoke about "people from the past reaching out" too. And I think it's funny how my sister (Gabrielle) is both someone from my past and one…

Before I even start, I just want to say that I've never felt more "accompanied" in my entire life until now. And it's starting to be a truly surreal experience. I'm always on the go so taking some time to look back and really see how things have unfolded so far is actually crazy. The fact that I literally started watching certain people on YouTube, like Love Exists Collective and LIGHT, just to see them being mentioned in one of Big Sister's videos later on as fellow starseeds is lowkey wild in and of itself. And I was just sitting there nodding my head along on some IShowSpeed (yes, the meme) type shi, treating it like it's "normal" for real. "Yep, of course she watches them too. And of course they're starseeds. Nothing too crazy about this at all." Like, what are the actual odds of that shi happening? Also,…

I began writing this (my 19th blog) on October 26th 2026 at 3:10 am. I spent the whole of yesterday resting. Or trying to, at the very least. Woke up with "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars playing in my head and figured that that was my guides as usual. I was dreaming too, but it was one of the many that I can't remember whatsoever no matter how hard I try. I was thinking about how as far as I'm concerned I've never been in the GATE (Gifted and Talented Education) program, but ever since my cousin (my uncle's eldest child) told me that her father had said that me and her were similar since we were both in "Gifted and Talented" I'm starting to really wonder about it. I know for a fact that they had something like that at my highschool (John Gray) back on Grand Cayman,…

I listened to the song "Porn Star Dancing" by My Darkest Days for the first time yesterday (October 19th 2026). It played sometime after I had played the song "Undead" by Hollywood Undead outside of the playlists that I normally listen to when I'm on Spotify (Babelon led me to do it, duh). Yes, this is the same being spoken about in Thelema. How do you I know it was Babelon? Because of the blonde demon girl I was looking at while the song was playing (shown above). In my last blog post before this one, I had said that Babelon was Desi Lydic's Mia (who is blonde), Maria was Diora Baird's Nadine (who is a brunette), and that I was Steve Howey's Stan Helsing in the theatrical poster for Stan Helsing (2009). And yet, as I write this she's reminding me about when I had said that I was…

This whole thing with my younger half-siblings, the twins Gabriel and Gabrielle, being just another part of this web of toxicity I've had to live through with my family (the human one), instead of potentially being starseeds (demons) just like me isn't really all that surprising if I'm being completely honest. My guides have made it obvious over time that there's more to these seemingly harmless human siblings of mine who I grew up with. A lot more than I even care to look at. Not because it would hurt. But because I've long stopped being present emotionally. I'd even be lying if I said that I still see them as "family" nowadays because I don't. We don't act like it. Never did as far as I'm concerned. And of course, in hindsight, I'm now looking at when these people actually started showing signs of wanting to try and be…

I see you giving me messages in my dreams :)

Still not sure what to write about yet... but I love you guys... visiting me in dreams is nice... thank you... make sure you have fun pls... and do whatever you like... i wish i remembered more :( but oh well... sigh... all in due time i guess... since i'm seeing the world through different eyes... (I wrote this long before everything else below and just figured I'd leave it because why the fck not you know... Nevertheless, I have brought "another story" with me)

*Spoilers ahead for the new movie, Other Mommy (2026), so stop reading now if you haven't watched it yet and you plan on doing so please and thanks.*

I watched that new movie, Other Mommy (2026), in the theaters on Friday (October 9th) and immediately got the sense that Alice was behind this horror film…