The Writer’s Bloq

Before I even start, I just want to say that I've never felt more "accompanied" in my entire life until now. And it's starting to be a truly surreal experience. I'm always on the go so taking some time to look back and really see how things have unfolded so far is actually crazy. The fact that I literally started watching certain people on YouTube, like Love Exists Collective and LIGHT, just to see them being mentioned in one of Big Sister's videos later on as fellow starseeds is lowkey wild in and of itself. And I was just sitting there nodding my head along on some IShowSpeed (yes, the meme) type shi, treating it like it's "normal" for real. "Yep, of course she watches them too. And of course they're starseeds. Nothing too crazy about this at all." Like, what are the actual odds of that shi happening? Also, LIGHT looks like me. No cap bro. Like, the resemblance is genuinely uncanny. She even wears her hair out half the time, if not all the time, just like I do. It's actually hilarious how I went from thinking that she could be my sister to knowing that she's family for real. Fingers crossed she lets the religion stuff go though. Oh, and to the people who've been tormenting her, your time is up. Just wait until we finish getting our hands on you.

I'm not going to lie when I say that my guides have been pestering me to get this one out, as I started writing this in my last class (a lecture) of the day. I got two readings earlier today (October 28th 2026), which I will talk about after saying some things first. No, I wasn't asking anything specific to be honest. I simply got the "push" from my guides to do them. You get the vibes. But yeah, as I've been sitting here and looking back at my life and all the things that have happened so far, I was also looking at how it all ultimately led to me being here. Specifically, here on this website. My guides have been making it seem like I'm supposed to be some kind of "mysterious figure" for now. This is the exact same shi that's been "projected" on me my whole life man. I can't escape it. And these invisible aliens are just over here laughing at me because my "choice" to have my profile picture be this white rabbit is not helping for real and just making it worse. And I know why. I'm not just a "rabbit" for real. I'm also a "wolf." And I know it. Matter of fact, everybody else knows it too. Even if I play the fool and act like I don't know why I'm being seen as "dangerous" half the time. Shi, according to my guides, I'm also a "lion." Better yet, "entirely not of this world" if we're being completely honest. Sigh. Anyways, my guides have also been on my case about my true motivations as well lately. I feel like I'm in a household where I'm trying really hard to be "noble" about stuff and everyone else knows it's personal. "Is it you cannot let humans harm us? Or is it you will not let humans harm us?" Like, get out of my head bro. I thought we were just talking about how I'm like Fujimoto from Ponyo (2008). Except unlike his character, I'm not a "former human" and was "of the sea" from the very beginning. Nah, tell me why I'm just now seeing that Ponyo is voiced by Noah Cyrus again. Sigh. As usual, my guides have put one of my names (Noah) in there so that my dumb ah can know for sure I'm getting their messages.

This was my first reading that I got earlier today at 1:18 am. According to my guides, the "agents" as we call them are making moves. Are we pressed for real? Absolutely not. We are going to put belt to ah as usual. Other things are being said here as well, but I won't say too much since you'll get it by just looking at the movies and tarot cards if you're meant to know.

This was my second reading that I got earlier today at 1:20 am. You'll probably notice that I did this one while I was incognito. It's a habit. And it led to me seeing my first reading as being "on the surface" and my second reading as being "beneath the surface." I wasn't even going to take the movies and tarot cards that I got in my first reading at first since I hadn't hit the generate button yet, and had only just opened their respective pages. After realizing I wasn't incognito, I did the same thing and opened the pages for the movie and tarot card generators. That's when I saw The World again for the second time, and immediately knew I was supposed to take both readings as is. No need to even hit the generate button this time it seems. But yeah, the first movie is obviously talking about music and it tracks since I was literally coming from seeing Big Sister post her music on Twitter (not calling it "X"). She also mentioned one of her videos on this website as well, the Tree of Debauchery, alongside her own reading that she got using the same generators (the movie one). And yes, Sawtooth Jack in my second movie is supposed to be me (as a starseed/demon). I've also gotten the King of Wands before in relation to myself specifically in previous readings. And finally, the third movie is obviously about starseeds (demons/aliens) in general. I'm not going to lie, random people have been trying to stop me while I'm out and about more than usual lately. It seems like I'm going to have to drop the "harmless rabbit" mask for a bit around here. It was a bit quiet. Too quiet. Kmt. I'm just now realizing that the only other person I've met in my flat so far is some guy named Jack. And don't forget that my guides have already been showing me Jack Nicholson's Will Randall in Wolf (1994) and Hugh Jackman's Wolverine in X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009). Or that Hugh Jackman's last name can mean "son of Jack." This is the type of shi my guides be on. I'm getting used to it now. Well, been used to it to be honest. The difference is that I'm getting better at seeing some stuff in real-time and not just catching things weeks/months/years later down the line.

*Hero X from To Be Hero X (2025)*

*Ahu from To Be Hero X (2025)*

*The Mysterious Cards Diviner alongside Hero X and rebel hero NINE*

My guides have also had me looking back at an anime that I watched in the past, To Be Hero X (2025). The titular character is giving off crazy starseed vibes now that I'm looking at him again. Of course, when my guides did the whole "this is you" thing with X, I was like, "Eh, he seems a bit overpowered no? And, he's like, 100% confident guys." Despite X having many of my "signature markers," like being dressed in black, white/black hair, and whatnot. He's even wielding a sword at one point in his version of the opening theme ("Opening ver.X"). And I've already said that I have a thing for swords. So as usual, that's when my guides rolled their eyes at my imposter syndrome, and led me to first see that the animal Hero X is associated with is a rabbit. And second, the fact that X is also voiced by a guy named David in english. "David," like "Jack," is yet another name that my guides have been using to catch my eye. For example, David in the Underworld movies and David Elliot in Endless Love (2014). Shi, I was even going by the nickname "David" at one point with one of my former friends since we were both fans of the Underworld movies. And no, they did not live up to their nickname in the slightest ("Selene"). Oh, and the dog, Ahu, who is with X in the "X vs Everyone" video is 100% Hurricane. Don't argue with me. Argue with him. He's the one who told me that's him. Funny, because I had no idea when I first saw that scene while watching the finale. Anywho, in X's version of the opening you see him with a girl using tarot cards (the Mysterious Cards Diviner). Obviously, the presence of tarot in here is what really sent it over the edge for me. I can't argue with my guides about that one. Also, the tarot cards that you see throughout the "Opening ver.X" video, as both the girl and X sit down together somewhere as she gives him a tarot reading (it's implied that this was done before X got his powers), are in this order: "The Fool (X is shown chilling, eating fast-food and shi), The Chariot (X is shown getting his powers in front of a mirror in a bathroom somewhere), Wheel of Fortune (X is shown shaking some business guy's hand at an event), The Hierophant? (I'm 99% sure) & The Back of Another Card (both cards are shown in the girl's hand, followed by rebel hero NINE appearing), and The Devil (X is shown in some dark dimension I guess, with someone's eyes behind him, which looks like a woman's eyes)." The titles for the Bleach reaction videos by YaBoyRoshi are actually important this time around. "The Blade" is obviously me. In one of my previous blog (2nd) titles I literally say, "And Yet, The Blade Is Me." Which is literally a reference that I got from Bleach. Full circle moment. While "Death and Strawberry" are representing Maria and X, respectively. Long story short, Maria is literally the Grim Reaper and X apparently likes strawberry milk. He also likes carbonated drinks. And this is the part where my guides want me to say that I'm up here in the UK just surviving off of Diet Coke like there's no tomorrow. Just airing my shi out bro. Anyways, all of this is meant to just link the three of us (Me, Maria, and X) together. This tracks since us starseeds (e.g. Me) and our guides (e.g. Maria and Hurricane) are all interconnected. We are a Hivemind. Type shi. Love Exists Collective's videos are simply just my guides letting me in on the tea about the people around me as usual. Nothing new. Nothing crazy. You get used to these types of videos and their titles after a while.

And look at who I saw in the lobby of the building where my flat is located. Now this is a bit hilarious since I did get the "urge" to search her up the other day. I've seen her "likeness" in other places, such as pictures and stuff. I figured it wasn't enough to claim that Marilyn was one of my guides for sure yet. Matter of fact, Marilyn was the first person who came to mind when I was still doing my 2nd blog and saying this, "Oh, and I'm pretty sure my guides like communicating with me using music because I'm always daydreaming while listening to it. Who knows, I might've been a singer. One of them made me say that. I just can't tell which one." But yeah, I already knew about Marilyn being part of the hive from Big Sister's videos so that was another reason why I was hesitant. Obviously, my guides would already know about me feeling this way since they exist in zero-time outside of here. This means Marilyn herself would know about me feeling this way too. Which is probably why she was like, "I'm downstairs in the lobby Noah. Is that close enough for you? Hmm? You dummy." But yeah, I actually noticed Marilyn yesterday. Before I did my readings or went on Twitter and saw Big Sister's posts. I did a double take and everything. Makes me wonder if she's been there the whole time since this is now my second year living here while I'm in the UK for university.

My guides have also been showing me how they view my current state right now using the video game series, Kingdom Hearts, which is one of my all-time favorites. They've already told me that I'm basically the Master of Masters at the end of the day. I just don't remember because of my amnesia. And as usual, he's got my "signature markers" (dressed in black). He even plays the fool too. You also never hear his true name. Plus, he can travel between dimensions and just "dipped" at one point. Yep, just like Sparda. Also, don't forget that in one of my previous blogs (13th), I showed that his Keyblade has his eye (The Gazing Eye) in it and that it's pretty much identical to Sephiroth's own eyes. Sephiroth, who is yet another "fictional" character that my guides have also said is me. He's also dressed in black. And has white/black hair. He even wields a sword too. The Gazing Eye is explained in Secret Report 13 (yes, "13" as in Death) in Kingdom Hearts III as, "a Keyblade forged from the eye of the Master of Masters. He passed it to me, as I have to others, and through it he can see the future—all that will ever come to pass. Spanning the ages in body after body, life after life, my task has been to keep vigil over the Eye as it passes from hand to hand. It has been a long time. Longer than I can express." Of course, this reminds me of that dream that I had where a voice told me that I was an "interdimensional seer" and I felt like I was "born in the Void." Anywho, I was eventually led to seeing the meeting between the Master of Masters and Xehanort (when he was still young) again, back in the Kingdom Hearts III Re Mind DLC. I know, "Re Mind" is funny since my guides are literally reminding me about this scene. But yeah, in it Xehanort comes back from his tour of the worlds and tells the Master of Masters, "I learned...the reason for my existence." And the Master of Masters, being the joker that he is, just replies, "Ohhh? Tell me more." This is when Xehanort explains, "All around the world, people live seemingly peaceful lives. They believe themselves to be moral and virtuous, but it's all an act. Darkness lurks in the pit of everyone's heart. Their light is a total farce." At this point, I don't even need to quote the scene anymore. You can go watch it for yourself if you want to know what else was said between them. Anyways, this is the "perspective" that my guides want me to remember even when they use Terra-Xehanort as an analogy for myself right now. I am "Xehanort" (the "soul") possessing the body of "Terra" (the "avatar"). And I've recently dealt with my "Lingering Will," which is what was "discarded" during "The Weeping" as I called it in my previous blog (9th). Now, I'm pretty much the version of Terra-Xehanort who was suffering from amnesia. And that's basically where the "similarities" end. Because everything else that Terra-Xehanort does before and after the "moment" where Xehanort possesses Terra's body and his "subsequent fight" with the Lingering Will is just "wrong." Except for the part where he suffers from amnesia. According to my guides, at least. And as usual, I'm going to trust my family on this one. They've even gone ahead and confirmed that the soundtrack that plays during their fight ("Rage Awakened") is a nice little "breadcrumb" for me since they're always pointing towards my capacity for it. I'm even being led to take note of the dialogue in this scene. "Out with the old and brittle vessel, and in with a younger, stronger new one!" They've always likened me to an "old man" outside of my avatar. "I swore I would survive..." Recently, they've been mentioning how apparently I always wake up. No matter the time, the place, or the era. "And now it is your darkness that shall be the ark that sustains me!" An obvious "Noah" reference. After Xehanort possesses Terra's body, he says this, "This heart belongs again to darkness. All worlds begin in darkness, and all so end. The heart is no different. Darkness sprouts within it—it grows, consumes it. Such is its nature. In the end, every heart returns to the darkness whence it came." And after the Lingering Will appears, he says the famous line, "Your body submits, your hearts succumbs—so why does your mind resist?" Queue "Rage Awakened." The kicker here, is that in my case, the "rage" being spoken of is being represented by "Xehanort" (my "soul") and not my "Lingering Will" (the last vestiges of my "human persona"). According to my guides, because of "who" I am, it was practically "inevitable" that I would awaken in response to my family being harmed. And apparently it's worse since I've observed that it's not being done accidentally, but is in fact, being done deliberately. Now, I'm like this warden figure. If I see it. I cut it down. Simple. Funny, how it feels entirely "non-human" and simply "it is what it is" too. Unsurprisingly, I don't actually need my family to trust me. I do want them to be free though. Always.

And with that being said, that's all from me and mine for now.

I shall return. I always do.