Welcome to Aeon's Oracles. This is the only place on the planet where you will get a reading from the Queen of the Simulation. You likely doubt that. So, take a look at the slideshow below. And once you're done doing your own investigation, feel free to fill out the form below, if you wish to proceed. However, please note: requesting a read does not mean you will recieve one. I only read for those who my guides advise I should do a reading for. If you want some cheap $15.00 love reading, this is not the place. Hell, with Humanity failing it's final test and heading towards extinction, you likely won't even be alive long enough to fall in love, anyway.
If you have finished watching the slides (all of which can be found in the Tree of Debauchery Debut Lesson, which EVERYONE should watch, and you wish to proceed? Please fill out the form below to request a reading. However, before you do, there's a few things you should know:
1. I do digital reads. I do not use physical cards, anymore. If I do a reading for you, you will be provided with the screenshots of your randomized card pull, much like the slides above.
2. I do not use any traditional tarot structures, like the Celtic Cross. I ask my guides how many cards they want me to pull, and then I select that random amount of cards. I then follow their guidance on what the cards are showing.
3. I will likely not tell you nice things. The world is an ugly place with even uglier humans in it. What you fear can come to pass. What you want, can be denied. And the worst possible outcome is always a possibility. If it's good? I'll tell you so. But, if it's bad? Or, you're a piece of trash, as a person? You won't just get bad news, you might also get cursed, too. So, think carefully before proceeding. Especially if you've done anything to children. Stay off my radar.
4. This is not for entertainment purposes. If you ask me? You will be recieving messages directly back from interdimensional aliens who use the tarot and oracle cards as communication tools. These cards have saved my life. I will never demean my guides by saying this is "just for fun". If you get a warning and you do not heed it, because you think it's "just entertainment"? You could lose your life. If anyone in the government has a problem with me telling the truth? Feel free to try and stop me. I'll have no problem sending you to your friends on the other side. I already hate you, so I don't even need a reason to curse you.
Please press the button below to fill out your initial questionnaire. If you are selected as a client, you will be invoiced for your selected budget. Once payment has been received, you will receive your read within 2-3 business days. If you do not receive an invoice, your request has been denied. As this will likely happen with many of you, please do not contact me to ask why you were denied. I will not respond. The answer will always be the same: "I was not advised to accept your request.".
FREQUETLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
How much does this cost?
You can select your own budget. But, keep in mind, I'm literally the greatest tarot reader on the planet. You can stop now, and spend some time trying to find another reader who can do what I do. (Good luck.). I'm not entertaining bullshit offers. If you're poor and have an emergency request, I may consider a lowball offer, if my guides advise it. But, if I can choose between $5,000.00 and $50.00? I'm going with the $5,000.00. Just being honest. You would do the same.
Do you do refunds?
What do you think? No.
Can I make special requests?
No. I'm not just being a bitch in denying that. Real readings are not controlled by you, or me. They are controlled by the guides. If you say something to the effect of: "Please use 3 cards and focus on love". The Tribe may want me to use 15 cards, and tell you that you have cancer in your colon and need to be checked out, because they're trying to save your life. Readings must not be constricted by expectations. We know nothing. Let those who see all control the flow. I may need to do an hour long read and record it, and send it to you. And all you wanted was a 1-card draw.
Is this demonic?
Yes. Aliens = Demons. This is very demonic. If you are religious, I don't even know why the fuck you're here. Take off before you get demon cooties and your "god" stops loving you. By the way...if you are religious? Click Here.
Where are the disclaimers?
There are none. This isn't for entertainment, like I said. You can feel free to sue me, but you will likely be cursed and die, before you see a cent of it. I will advise you to go see professionals if you need medical help, physical or mental. I don't make any promises about you making money if you ask about a financial opportunity. My guides may purposely have you invest in something that goes belly up. Because they want you to lose your money, so you have to go get another job, and there you meet your future girlfriend. I am a messeger for those who watch over your life. Nothing more. I deliver the messages and whatever happens? Happens.
I'm a bitch. I know the government wants me to use disclaimers. I'm literally goading them into coming for me, so I can curse them. They don't require the pedophiles behind pulpits to give disclaimers about their fairy tales, so I will not either. And unlike them, I won't fleece you for 10% of your income to buy my porsche. I'll say the truth is "for entertainment purposes only", when that same sign hangs over every church, mosque, and synagogue in America peddling bullshit that leads to intolerance, bigotry and molested children. No, let me stop lying. I still won't. This Judeo-Christian Fascist State can kiss each cheek of my ass.
Why are you like this?
Because I do not give a fuck. Everyone says and does the same thing, trying to be professional, in hopes of getting your money. I simply don't give a shit. I spent a lifetime worrying about projecting the right image, and all it won me were countless enemies, many after my life. So, I do not give a fuck. I will be bluntly honest, profane and demonic. If you don't like it? There's an "X" button in your upper right hand corner on your browser. Try pressing it.