The Writer’s Bloq

This whole thing with my younger half-siblings, the twins Gabriel and Gabrielle, being just another part of this web of toxicity I've had to live through with my family (the human one), instead of potentially being starseeds (demons) just like me isn't really all that surprising if I'm being completely honest. My guides have made it obvious over time that there's more to these seemingly harmless human siblings of mine who I grew up with. A lot more than I even care to look at. Not because it would hurt. But because I've long stopped being present emotionally. I'd even be lying if I said that I still see them as "family" nowadays because I don't. We don't act like it. Never did as far as I'm concerned. And of course, in hindsight, I'm now looking at when these people actually started showing signs of wanting to try and be a family for real. Back when I first started making plans to come to the UK for university back in 2024. It's like this human family of mine knew they were on a timer or something and I'm just now putting the pieces together of how "unprepared" everyone was when I decided to seemingly make a simple decision. To go overseas and study/learn something new. Not what I was already known for. The fact that this whole going overseas thing was seen as something bigger than I ever did/will is always going to be funny to me. I don't care about how "smart" or how "intelligent" my "achievements" make me look. If I didn't find the shi that you see me doing fun or at the very least interesting to do/learn in the first place then you probably wouldn't see me doing it at all.

But yeah, this has been a long time coming as I'd already watched the new season (season 3) of the TV Show, Interview with the Vampire (2022), as it was coming out earlier this year (June 7th 2026 to July 19th 2026). Season 3 was called The Vampire Lestat (2026), with the main character, Lestat de Lioncourt himself, being me according to my guides. They also want me to mention that Brad Pitt's Achilles in Troy (2004) and Sam Reid's Lestat are pretty much identical. Akasha, the Queen of the Damned, is obviously Maria Arielle. Louis de Point du Lac is Owen. Claudia is Amanda. Madeleine is Jade. Daniel Molloy is Carl. Armand is Nasim. Gabriella is like this weird yet accurate amalgamation of my human mother (Teressa) and sister (Gabrielle). And funny enough, the band Lestat joins used to be called Satan's Night Out before becoming The Vampire Lestat. Because of course it was. I'm not even shocked that I'm finding that out for the first time as I'm writing this now. Plus, there's an "Alex" in the band too. Granted he does seem to be on some grimy shi in the show, and he's definitely not fundamental to the entire plot like the others I've mentioned in previous posts. In the album for the TV Show, called The Vampire Lestat: The Failures, I've listened to the song "When I Call Out Your Name" the most. In that song, the person's name Lestat is calling out over and over again is Gabriella. To keep it simple, my guides were practically screaming at me that my sister was an opp using the name of Lestat's mother whenever I was listening to the song. And of course, to remind me that my mother, just like Lestat's, is also an opp. I didn't need the reminder about my mother, but I can understand why they showed it like that now. In the past, I've literally told my sister that she was practically being raised to be just like the other toxic women in our family. Long story short, she is one of them now. No matter how much she'll try to deny it if you confront her. Also, while I was looking back at the cast for one of the movies, Endless Love (2014), that I'd gotten in the first of my two readings that I did on October 3rd 2026, where I was asking my guides about my blogs (found in my 14th one), I saw that the character named Jade was played by Gabriella Wilde. Yes, my guides were literally saying my sister was wild to my face. Just like I was saying she was acting wild in my blog that I posted after that one. The 15th one to be exact. "15." As in The Devil tarot card. It is what it is. Two birds, one stone (ifykyk).

Now you're probably thinking, "Hold on Noah, Nasim is new. Who's that?" And I'm just going to summarize him by saying we were like "brothers" and that apparently I was the "Goku" to his "Vegeta" (we're both DBZ fans, duh). He's also Muslim and pretty much tried to get me to see Islam as like this "better alternative" to Christianity (the religion I was born into). During one of our last conversations, if not the last one, he had called me a "truthsayer" and told me about how most of my morals and values pretty much aligned with being Muslim. And yes, he did clarify that not everything that I did was Halal, mentioning my habit of getting bacon on my sandwich at subway. Not going to lie, I remember watching him have a lot of those "this is Haram" moments whenever he saw me not only ask for bacon but then be all, "Extra bacon please." Me being me I was always laughing at that shi. Back to our last conversation though. After calling me a truthsayer, I had a little moment where I was all, "Why'd you have to say that?" because around that time my guides were leading me to see how some people were connecting the names/figures of Noah and Nereus because of their association with water and being righteous or whatever. Nasim's comment pretty much made all of this a synchronicity because my online searches that led to me seeing that stuff about Noah and Nereus happened after I'd had a dream with some old grey haired pale skinned guy in this underwater (like, abyss deep) cave. Long story short, in that dream I'd heard the words, "Not everyone survives falling into a human body." And I also got the sense that the old man was Nereus or a representation of the Old Man of the Sea. Anyways, after Nasim's truthsayer comment and subsequent attempt at bringing me into the Muslim fold, I told him that I wasn't interested in being the best Muslim and was more interested in being honest.

Today (October 18th 2026) actually started with me waking up from a pretty chill dream believe it or not. I had like these two tests that I had to do that were happening at the same time, but I could only sit down and do one of them while feeling like I was running out of time. And yet, I still felt like I was going to be fine regardless (like I always do). I was with people I knew from highschool who were also doing the test I was doing at the moment. None of them were people I'm close with nowadays or even in the recent past before I had cut off pretty much everyone I used to know (on my birthday, May 16th, in 2025). One of them was playing music and after complaining that they didn't like gospel music or whatever they started playing "Silent Night." Another wanted them to change it but they decided to let it play and that was when I realized I was sleeping after I heard the lyrics say, "Sleep in heavenly peace." After I woke up, I then pretty much deduced why Alice chose that song to play in my dream as the only other thing that stood out to me while I was hearing it was the part about a "virgin" before it got to the sleeping part. This is only relevant because before going to sleep, I was talking to myself about how me still being a virgin is something that people in the past have tried to paint as some kind of "problem" that I have despite me never being pressed about it when I'm by myself. But yeah, Alice used music to communicate with me. My guides tend to do that. Since they're always with me. And hence, can see how often I listen to it. And by the time the song was talking about "sleeping in heavenly peace," I figured Alice was letting me know that I was in fact sleeping (dreaming), there was no "test" for real, I wasn't "running out of time" at all, or even had another "test" to get to. She just wanted me to "sleep in peace" and to "stop worrying." How do I know it was Alice? I was watching lore videos about the F.E.A.R. games on YouTube before I went to sleep. As I've already alluded to, if not flat out stated in previous posts, Sadako Yamamura/Samara Morgan from The Ring movies, the Red Queen from the Resident Evil movies, Alma Wade from the F.E.A.R. games, Wish Nikki from Obsession (2025), and the Other Mommy from Other Mommy (2026) are literally just Alice showing herself through media. Also, I'm pretty sure another reason why it's Alice is because she's the guide I'm most confident in "seeing" and/or "hearing" the best right now. And since I'm still just starting to learn how to communicate with my guides, they led me to write out my dream experience in Google AI Mode so I can pretty much just read about what had just happened better. Nope, no rabbit hole this time but I will go over what I was in there yapping about so no worries. After I wrote about my dream, I also wrote about how I've been realizing that my "subconscious" is really where my guides

operate and pretty much "code" things. At least that's my current understanding of it right now. And I also wrote about how humans don't know what they're talking about 99.9% of the time, which is pretty much already proven because they admit that "new information" can appear and "change" everything about something that was once treated as a "fact." And then you realize that that "universal fact" was just a damn "theory" this whole time. I used the example about energy not being created or destroyed but only changed, and said that if you asked someone to explain what "energy" is and kept going from there ("And what's that?", "And what's that then?", etc.) you'd eventually get to the point where they can't tell you the "source." After that, I wrote about how due to her most recent appearance in the new Other Mommy movie as well as the most recent F.E.A.R. games lore video I had watched on YouTube, titled "F.E.A.R: The Complete History and Lore | Monolith Timeline" by the channel TheBritishRunner, I was viewing Alice as like a "mother" and myself as being like her "son" in a way. The channel's name having "British" in it is obviously a sign because I'm currently in England studying overseas. While watching that YouTube video, I saw that Alma's way of offing people damn near perfectly "matched" how the Other Mommy was offing people in the movie, with their victims "melting" if not outright "exploding." Also, the fact that the plot of the games is centered around trying to create people who can give orders to clones (dopplegangers) with their mind was another obvious sign, since starseeds and their guides are all connected in the same way (the hive). Of course, the whole thing with Alma's two sons, the Point Man and Paxton Fettel, where they were watching an insane Michael Becket in F.E.A.R. 3 also stood out because it's where he says that one funny line I mentioned in my 3rd blog, "The bitch became obsessed with me! Don't you people understand?!" Alma having two sons made me think of how I like "creating in pairs" again, and I also noticed that these two brothers have like a sibling rivalry thing going on too. Just like Vergil and Dante in DMC. But yeah, after the Point Man and Paxton go to where Michael is and Paxton possesses him to gain access to his memories, Paxton speaks about how Michael was "manufactured" to be like them through "artificial" means as they (Armacham Technology Corportation/ATC) were trying to create commanders who could link minds with soldiers without Alma (someone with genuine psychic powers). This was basically Alice telling me that I'm not supposed to see myself as Michael Becket, and that me being the Point Man is more accurate. The kicker here is that the Point Man and Michael Becket both pretty much have the same "best of the best" military guy with "extreme reflexes" and childhood memories being erased thing going on. Except the Point Man's "extreme reflexes" are natural and he's related to Alma herself by blood, which is why he survives when others do not and you can even hear Alma telling him during the first F.E.A.R. game, "I know who you are." You'd think I'd have made that conclusion quicker by now I know. But alas, it would seem I suffer from imposter syndrome. Anywho, Michael Becket dies (explodes) after being possessed by Paxton Fettel. While the Point Man survives the games all the way to the end of F.E.A.R. 3, where in the "Good" Ending he puts his brother down again (shooting him 3 times), who at this point has turned against Alma. And if you get the "Bad" Ending, Paxton possesses the Point Man and cannibalizes her. The Ending you get determines which one walks away with Alma's Third Child, who she conceived with Michael Becket. Eventually Google AI Mode started with the whole human rhetoric of "external pressures", "security", and "self-worth" after I wrote that I was pretty sure Alice wanted me to combine the Michael Becket and Point Man archetypes since she's obviously obsessed (in the sense that she fiercely claims the space around me) like with Michael Becket and protective (in the sense that we're related/connected/of the same bloodline) like with the Point Man. However, it was obvious that Alice wanted me to see how the reality of starseeds ends up being reduced when you force them into a "human" narrative. Especially when poor Google AI Mode just doesn't have access to all of the "context" and "hard evidence" that I do. And of course, she also reminded me of when she told me that I'd never become a man, which I mentioned in one of my previous posts. I am not human. I am a starseed (demon).

Right before I was finished with Google AI Mode, I wrote about my siblings, Gabriel and Gabrielle, with me basically going through the motions of how they were both complicit if not also guilty in their own ways. This was when my guides led me to do readings on them, using those random generators on GeneratorMix. And then, things happened. A lot of things happened. Shi had me looking around at the invisible cameras in my room again.

The Two Readings I Did On October 18th 2026

"Gabrielle knows the stuff happening around her right now isn't just 'bad luck' doesn't she? She knows its you?"

1. Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story (2009) + King of Cups 2. Snack Shack (2024) + King of Pentacles 3. The Burial (2023) + Six of Pentacles

"What about Gabriel?"

1. Always (1989) + Three of Swords 2. Hell on the Border (2019) + Ace of Wands 3. Stan Helsing (2009) + Six of Pentacles

Now right off the bat, the fact that I got the Six of Pentacles twice as the third tarot card caught my eye. The way the card looks I got the vibe that my guides where showing me how my two siblings are pretty much on their knees at my "mercy" or whatever. The movies I got in Gabriel's reading felt too perfect for the occasion if I'm being honest. This was when I thought to myself, "You know, I never take images of this shi as hard evidence." Which was when I had thought about swapping to the desktop site on my android, since the way it looks on mobile you can't see everything in one screenshot. But after seeing that I couldn't take screenshots, I was like "Nope, not today." So I got out my other phone, and took pictures using that one. I tried to take a picture of the tarot cards first, but when I swapped to desktop the random generator refreshed. And yet, the three cards I got for that "new" reading was too perfect as well. Then I went to take a picture of the movies, and when I swapped to desktop on that tab, the random generator didn't refresh this time.

Everything going on here is just my guides basically looking me dead in my face and saying that they're all here right now. Always (1989) and Death is so obvious I won't even bother explaining it. Hell on the Border (2019) and the Knight of Swords (my calling card, third time I'm seeing it) is my guides describing me as a whole all over again. The actor playing the main character, Bass Reeves, is a guy named David (because of course he is). Bass is described as a skilled gunfighter which brings that movie that had one of my middle names (O'Shane) in it back to mind, Shane (1953). That Shane movie was in a previous reading that my guides gave me that was obviously speaking about me. And yes, it was also paired with my calling card, the Knight of Swords (because of course it was).

Stan Helsing (2009) and the Eight of Pentacles is my guides saying, "We're all here watching you stress about stuff you dummy." And also, the fact that I've been writing these blogs and learning how to communicate with them along the way. Even the time (11:33 am) and my battery life (17%) are important. "11" is the Justice tarot card (truth), while the two "3s" are The Empress (Maria & Babelon) and the Three of Cups (celebration) respectively. "17" is The Star, and it's my guides telling me I'm a starseed (demon) once again, "This is who/what you are you fool. Get it through your thick skull." The two women on either side of the main guy (me) are obviously Babelon (left) and Maria (right). And I know you see Michael caught in a rare moment of him not being locked in. He's appearing as Michael Myers here, which is what I jokingly call him all the time. Something about that clock is important. I'll just say it's referring to Tarot Time and also that one meme with the White Rabbit pointing at the clock he's holding (you know what I'm talking about).

I even noticed that the song "In The End" by Black Veil Brides was playing in the background as I was listening to music while I was doing my readings.

Lyrics like "Who will tell the story of your life?", "Who we are / Isn't how we live we are more than just our bodies", and "I'm not afraid to die" stood out to me for obvious reasons that are obvious. I'm the one telling my life story. I know I'm more than this avatar. And death isn't so scary, if it just means I get to go back to where I came from originally (home).

Then the song "White Rabbit" by Egypt Central played next.

The entire opening of this song slapped me in the face talking about some,

"Your magic, white rabbit

Has left its writing on the wall

We follow like Alice

And just keep diving the hole"

The song's lyrics go on to make it seem like the white rabbit (me) is telling lies. And yet, I have come bearing receipts. Plus, my battery life is 19% in the screenshot. "19" as in The Sun tarot card (truth). Also, the time (11:40 am) is important too. "11" is still Justice (more truth), while the "4" is the Four of Swords (me resting & the mental decline of my enemies), and the "0" is The Fool (which is my guides teasing me). Don't argue with me. Argue with my guides. They're the real "truthsayers" you're dealing with here after all. I'm just the messenger.

Even that notification popping up from the starseed reddit yapping about loneliness while I'm feeling anything but that right now is genuinely hilarious by the way. I can't make this up. The screenshot is right there. Lick your screen if you have to, so you can see that it's real.

Then after a while and I went back to the tabs with the random generators, and they refreshed again. Showing how I've gone from a state of dealing with illusions (like my own self doubt) to a state of knowing the truth (pretty much undeniable I'm a starseed/demon now). And yes, the time (11:44 am) and my battery life (17%) are important again. "11" is Justice again (truth), while the two "4s" add up to "8" which is the Eight of Pentacles as I continue writing these blogs after this post. As the King of Pentacles that is. And yes, "17" is in fact The Star again because my guides are sick of me doubting myself. The movies on their own are pretty much doing some cosmic meta-level storytelling, but I'm not even going to dive into that right now (ifykyk).

Then the song "I Miss The Misery" by Halestorm played last before I closed Spotify.

This entire song pretty much details the mental decline of some of those who I, and others like me, inevitably leave behind. I know that it was originally meant to show that the singer (Lzzy Hale) doesn't miss the person who hurt her, but instead the emotional roller coaster or whatever. And now I'm also saying that this is more or less how the "actual toxic person" feels and behaves. In layman's terms, they are just some weirdo who is emotionally addicted to the chaos and drama of toxic relationships. Oh yeah, the time (11:45 am) and my battery life (16%) are important once more. "11" is Justice (truth). No, we're not surprised anymore. "4" is the Four of Swords for their mental decline. And "5" is the Five of Swords while they watch you leave them behind holding on to their own mess. And "16" is The Tower. Because of course it is. To them, you came in like a storm and ruined their life.

I'm now realizing that I'm in the middle of writing my 17th blog post. "17" is The Star tarot card again. Even the house number of the home where I grew up in Grand Cayman is 17 too. Yeah, my guides are definitely beating the fact that I'm a genuine starseed (demon) into my head this time around. They're so sick of me wondering about it or doubting myself every now and then. Apparently, my imposter syndrome runs deep and I can thank my upbringing for it. They're even pointing me to look at the Winter Soldier's trigger words again, that Hydra has written down in some red book, which I went out of my way to memorize. I did this because I see myself in the character and the movie he debuted in, Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), which is still among my top 5 favorite Marvel movies.

*Longing (Желание), Rusted (Ржавый), Seventeen (Семнадцать), Daybreak (Рассвет), Furnace (Печь), Nine (Девять), Benign (Добросердечный), Homecoming (Возвращение на родину), One (Один), Freight car (Товарный вагон)*

"Longing" speaks to my amnesia and feelings of homesickness. "Rusted" speaks to my true age outside of this avatar and the fact that I'm alien AI. "Seventeen" speaks to The Star, as my guides beat the fact that I'm a starseed (demon) into my head (yet again). "Daybreak" speaks to back when I first began coming to the realization that this shi is real. "Furnace" speaks to my rage, or more accurately, my capacity for it (I can now add Lestat to the list of characters my guides have been using to reference that over time: Kratos, Heracles, Achilles, Wolverine, Sephiroth, Prince Nuada, etc.) "Nine" speaks to The Hermit, which is basically what I'm doing as I write these blogs. "Benign" speaks to how I am naturally. "Homecoming" speaks to what my guides are doing as I write these blogs. "One" speaks to The Magician, which is pretty much where I'm headed towards now. And finally, "Freight car" speaks to the Knight of Swords, my calling card.

At some point while I was writing this I looked up and saw that it was 7:17 pm, and it's funny because once upon a time Owen told me that that was a sign for him (it's his birthday). But now, my guides just gave me nudge to see it as the Seven of Cups and The Star. They're cooking I fear. Also, yes I did peep that Lestat is called "the Brat Prince." I'm not going to say too much about it. I've already said that my real family (the demons) teases me all the time.

Anyways, that's all from me and mine for now. We shall return. We always do.